Why Offending Some People Is Actually A Good Thing

I have to get this off my chest. I'm writing you today to talk about something that's all too common on social media, and even in life in general.

But this isn't a rant. By the end of this email, the examples and reframes should help you feel a bit more confident to show up how you really want to.

So let's get into it...

I’m tired of seeing so many strong personalities and brilliant minds water themselves down because they’re afraid of offending someone.

Look, I get it.

Offending someone means probably hurting their feelings too.

And because most of us out here are good people, we’re not in the habit of intentionally hurting people’s feelings.

But there’s a line between speaking your truth and taking a stance on something, vs. going out of your way to purposely offend someone.

You’re not for everyone, and neither is your content.

We all know that, right?

The truth is, you will never, ever be able to please every person who comes across your page.

And if that’s what you’re trying to do…it’s no wonder you’re frustrated, hate making content, or just feel stuck in general.

(I know because I’ve done it before too)

Here’s the thing - your people, the people you actually want in your universe, are smart AF and are highly capable of making their own decisions. For example:

• They stumbled across your account and decided to follow you.

• They decided to like or comment on your post.

• They decided not to like or comment on your post.

If someone gets offended by you sharing something that you have a strong opinion on, guess what?

THEY get to DECIDE how they respond.

Maybe:

👉 They decide to throw a temper tantrum in your DM’s or comment section and publicly announce they’re unfollowing you. (AKA not your person or someone you’d want to work with anyway)

👉 They decide not to say anything at all and quietly unfollow you. (You probably wouldn’t even notice, TBH)

👉 They decide to respectfully agree to disagree and have a civil conversation with you.

👉 They decide to keep their opinion to themselves and continue to follow you because they like you regardless and respect your values.

My point? It’s not up to you to decide for them.

And by not showing up as yourself or sharing whatever the hell you want - you’re not even giving them the option.

You’re taking away their ability to even make a decision.

And you’re also stifling yourself in the process by keeping yourself in this neatly packaged little box that you think your audience wants you in.

And that, they don’t get to decide.

Your audience doesn’t get to decide how you show up or what you say.

You have to trust that your audience will make the right decisions for themselves.

You can't let your fear of accidentally offending someone keep you in the shadowy corner of their stupid little box.

You have to step outside, take up space and show people who you really are.

And guess what, by doing so, you’re going to keep and attract the right people who also align or share similar values as you.

And that’s what you want.

Think of it like this:

“I know Bobby and Sally from down the street hate dogs and they hide behind being rude and talking shit because they're actually really insecure, and even though I know that, I’m still not going to talk about how much I love dogs because I don't want to offend them.”

That sounds so dumb, right? Bobby and Sally don't like dogs? That’s a Bobby and Sally problem, not a you problem.

Yet, that’s how some of you treat your content.

You don’t share things you love or have a strong opinion about because you’re afraid the Bobby's and Sally's of internet might get offended and say something mean to you.

But wait - you don’t even care if Bobby or Sally are in your universe. 🤔

And you definitely don’t want grimey-ass Bobby & Sally from down the street who hate dogs and attracts flies with their bullshit talking breath (run on sentence) as clients.

So why are you afraid to offend them?

I do want to say though, I acknowledge that there’s a difference between putting content out there and having some random troll talk crap to you, vs. putting content out there and having someone you might actually respect - say something to you about it.

And I realize, at least for me anyway, that the sting of some random troll vs. someone you might respect, feels and hits a bit different.

But from my experience, when or if someone I respect disagrees with me, we’re able to have an adult conversation and listen to each other’s points of view.

Then we move on from it. And that’s that.

Where as random trolls or people you don’t really know or respect, if they come at you sideways, good!

You just weeded them out.

And if they are random or you don’t know them or respect them, then what does it matter what they say, if they unfollow you, or if you block them?

It doesn’t.

The world isn't going to end because you took a stance and shared something that mattered to you.

And THAT'S 👆 the reframe.

See it as sharing something important that matters to you vs. seeing it as something that might offend someone.

I’ll end with this:

The only way you’re going to keep and attract the right people; people you actually want in your universe, is by letting them see and know the real you so that they can decide if they want to be there or not.

It’s not up to you to decide for them.

Your only job is to be 100% yourself.

They’re either in or they’re out.